We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Nicole vs. Life
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
