Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
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