u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
