Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
