hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Dick very happy bro
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
