Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
