xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
