...so i touched it.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
