i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
