Its about making memories worth repressing
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
