Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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