My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
