There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize