what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
