Tell her she can't have a vagina
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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