that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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