She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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