'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Quick, to the slutcave!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
