I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
