My nipple is on Facebook.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
