i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Randomize
