Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Vodka?
Forever.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
