I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
