We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
