I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i think i scared a bird with my dick
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
