I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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