I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
