I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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