i permit you to call me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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