we have pet lesbian snakes
the day after is always just damage control
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
