Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
