wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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