I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
