So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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