afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
