pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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