I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
