butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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