I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
