just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
where are my eyebrows?
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