try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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