That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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