Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
