Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
