Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize