Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
