i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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