So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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