Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize