You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
