with your own penis?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
