So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
