When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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