I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
