So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
