we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
