I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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