you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
