shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
