Me too!
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize