I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
